Leviathan:
Aaah… W-well, I’ve never been on a date with anybody before, e-even though I’ve thought about it a lot… Being furniture, having a romantic relationship with anybody is a little difficult, and I’m not… the most outstanding of my sisters… so they always get far more attention than me…

B-but I think going on a date with somebody would be so nice… It sounds foolish, and my other sisters tease me because of it- saying my ambitions are too low (‘but that fits a dull girl like you, Levia!’)- but… i-it is still my dream…

I always thought it would be something like this… …

… …But I guess that’s not good enough, is it?

My dreams are too simple… aren’t they?

Because… you just said you wouldn’t be satisfied with just me. You… w-would also want to take Asmo…

So, still… I can’t have anything for myself. I can’t have a fun time like that with somebody. Because I’m not good enough… a-and you still want another person… I-I was always the most useless sister, s-so going on a date, h-having another person all to myself, to love me, a-and to be kind to me, and to say they like me how I am… … … I-I might be a demon, and I might be furniture, but I still have feelings, a-and I think that would be so nice- and it’s not just because I want a loving relationship before any of my sisters so I can beat them at something (e-even though I probably would boast about it a little…), i-it’s because I-I’m tired of being the one who’s always teased, always mocked, a-and I just want somebody to be kind to me!!!

But… it’s still not enough, huh… …?

So you’d also invite Asmo…

Well…

Asmo acts like a kid a lot sometimes, and she’s quite immature (e-even I think that, and I get labelled that a lot from Luci… …), but she’s a really outgoing girl. She’s loud and bright… nearly always smiling- and she’s not shy at all. She… knows how to make people like her. Even Satan, who gets so angry with me when I make the smallest mistakes, i-is nicer to Asmo- maybe babies her a little…

Everybody pays attention to her.

So, if she was on a date with me… I-I think, or, no… I know that she would be bright and happy and talkative, a-and completely dominate the conversation, whether she means to or not- a-and you would like her more than me, and you would laugh at her stupid jokes, and pet her on the head when she pulls funny faces… …

You would like her more.

And, since I’m not so good with words, or smiling, or being interesting or funny or even particularly pretty… …

I would get ignored completely.

B-but… i-it’s not like I mind or anything… … … Only a horrible person would ask two girls out on a date at the same time, anyway… …

OOC-chan:
I feel very strongly about this subject.

Leviathan:

Maybe I do that a little, but there’s nothing wrong with it, is there? After all, I thought it was common for humans to scorn those less privilged than themselves, too? Isn’t that just part of a person’s basic instinct? S-so, I think it’s kind of hypocritical calling me mean when I’m sure you’ve done exactly the same thing, Anon!

Mou… Besides… I’m sick of being overlooked by everyone. My sisters always push me out of the way so I never get anything I want, and in any competition I’m always last. I hate it… I really hate it… … S-so I at least feel a little better knowing that there’s somebody worse off than me… Ehehe~

A-ah… Unless Kumasawa Sabakichi, Ootsuki, Captain Kawabata and Nanjo Masayuki have formed some kind of club together to defeat me??? O-or maybe they actually have a really, really huge fan base?! But that’s ridiculous! They can’t be more popular than me, right? I mean, they’re all old men…!!! L-let me just look at the popularity rankings…  … …

…

…

…

…

I was beaten by Gohda.

Asmodeus:
W-well, i-if two people a-are in love they should be able to do what they want with each other, b-but I-I’d prefer to fantasize about my handsome prince o-on a white horse, a-and, and… u-um, um… …

… … …The internet is a scary place… ;-;

Mammon:
Pfft, no. I believe that ask speaks for itself, riiiiight?~ *giggles*
I mean, not a lot of people liked Satan as a girl, anyway, so what were you expcting?~ Kukukuku~

Satan:
A-ah… a-aargh… a-au… au… … … I-I… I-I’m really sick of t-this…!!! *sniffs*

V-virgiliaaaaa…!!!!

Asmodeus:
Hm, well… given we’re all pretty different, we all like watching different things, I guess… Um… Mammon and Beelze like to watch quiz shows together a lot, and they have competitions to see who can get the most answers right… It’s kind of loud and noisy, a-and it looks like a lot of fun… I’d like to join in, b-but, um… the loser has to do a punishment game, like, au… calling Ange fat, or eating things that definitely shouldn’t be eaten- and it gets very competative, s-so I’m a little too afraid to play…

Besides, I’d… probably lose… … humph…

Beelze also likes to watch a lot of cookery shows- t-though I don’t think she really likes them? She usually shouts at the screen a lot and says things like… *ahem* *does best Beelzebub impression*: ‘Hey, no, you idiooooot, don’t make the hollandaise sauce so thiiick, you’ll completely mask the taste of the salmon!!! I bet even Lucifer is a better cook than you, and she can blow up saucepans! Moron! Id~i~ooot!!! You don’t even deserve to be called a gourment- who are you going to serve this food to, anyway, a vulture with no tastebuds?!?! Gyahahahahahaha!!! My Gohda is a wa~ay better chef than yooou!!!’ *coughs* Hee, Beelzebub can get kind of scary… …

Au… let’s see… Um, Belpeghor has this strange love for medical documentaries, t-the kind that show lots of weird operations in great detail- mainly because she likes learning lots of new, long words, I think… However, those shows aren’t very cute at all, I don’t really like them… …

Satan and Levia like a lot of anime, I think, e-even if I think they’d gouge me if I said I knew *nervous giggle* A-and… Luci doesn’t watch TV so much, since she gets tired of everybody fighting over the remote and she wants to be the ~responsible big sister~ I guess… hm… But she seems to like weird stuff… like documentaries about the housing market, and all sorts of dull things? She also likes the news, too… But maybe she’s just pretending, so she can look mature… …? I’m not sure… That’s what Mammon always says…

B-but, personally…

I-I really, really like those cute magical girl animes I used to watch with Maria… E-ehehe… T-they were really, really cute… … a-and usually there was a love interest, as well, a-and those stories were so romantic… a-and it was a lot of fun watching that stuff~

Yeah… those are really nice memories…

*poof*

Satan:
W-well, it’s not like I’m grateful or anything that you turned me back… h-humph… *hair flip* I-I get the distinct feeling that you’re the one who did this to me in the first place, Anon!

H-however… as you did do me a (rather belated) favor, it would… probably be in bad taste to kill you… a-and I’m still getting accustomed to my new body (being altered this much throws off your equilibrium), so killing you would be too much effort now…

H-humph…

I-in situations like this, I suppose Lady Virgilia would rather I say something sappy and embarrassing t-that you definitely don’t deserve, l-like… *shudders* ‘t-thank you’, or something… a-and… I-I already said, I’m not grateful! Don’t get the wrong idea…! B-but, I… um… I… want to be top quality furniture, so…

Ah…

T-tha-

Beatrice:
Pffft~ What, you think you can use your low level magic to alter my appearance this easily…?~ *cackles* Your stupidity has reached such immense levels it’s almost endearing~

To begin wiiith, you’re meant to be asking my cute furniture questions here, re~mem~ber?~ If you want to subject me to your foolishness so badly you should really ask me a question directly; it’s bothersome if you try to communicate with me in such a roundabout manner~ Didn’t anybody ever teach you standard manners?~ This isn’t how you address a great witch like me *cackle*

And, secondly… deflecting this type of magic is too simple for me, you seeeeeeee? Why don’t you try and challenge me later- in perhaps another one thousand years or so!!!

Gyahahahahahahahahahihihihihihihihi!!!!!!

*deflects magic with an elegant wave of her pipe*

*explosion of sparkly anon magic*

*poof*

Satan:
W-what.. …?!

What the hell… … …?!?!!?!?!?!

Why did it have to rebound and hit ME?!?!